Making Peace with the Messy Season: Trusting the In-Between, by Temi Pool

As a mom and someone who works closely with families every day, I hear a quiet refrain come up more often than people admit: losing myself in motherhood. It doesn’t always happen in one dramatic moment. Sometimes it shows up slowly, in the in-between seasons when life is full, purpose-driven, and overwhelming. If you’ve ever felt stretched thin while trying to hold everything together, this post will resonate deeply.

Today, I’m honored to share a heartfelt reflection from Temi Pool, founder of Ivybrook Academy Sterling. Temi writes honestly about the unseen emotional labor of motherhood, the tension between calling and caregiving, and the peace that comes when we stop fighting the messiest seasons of life. As a leader in early childhood education and a mom herself, she brings a grounded, compassionate perspective that so many of us need. If you’ve been craving permission to soften, let go, and trust where you are, this is a beautiful place to start.

Making Peace with the Messy Season: Trusting the In-Between

I’ve always found comfort in order.

I was the mom who had the house clean, toys put away, laundry folded, meals planned, and groceries stocked. When Christmas came around, my home was decorated early and perfectly—the tree was up, garland placed just right, and gifts wrapped and ready. Order made me feel grounded. It gave me a sense of calm and control during a season when losing myself in motherhood wasn’t something I had yet experienced.

For a long time, that worked.

Then I stepped into a new calling: building a school.

Life began to move at a different pace. My days filled with work, community events, farmers markets, and showing up where I was needed. Weekends stopped feeling like rest and started feeling purposeful, meaningful, and sometimes exhausting. With each new responsibility, the emotional labor of motherhood quietly expanded alongside my professional role.

Slowly, the routines I once held so tightly began to slip.

The house didn’t look the same.
The schedule wasn’t predictable.
And the version of me who had everything labeled and finished ahead of time started to feel out of reach.

At home, my husband stepped in fully. He orders groceries online, makes dinner even on nights when I’m home, and cleans the kitchen while I give our daughter a bath. For a while, that shift came with guilt—the quiet belief many moms carry that we should still be able to do it all, even while losing myself in motherhood.

But this season has taught me something important:

Support isn’t something you earn when you’re overwhelmed—it’s something you accept so you don’t have to carry everything alone.

The Emotional Work No One Sees

Building something meaningful while raising a child requires a tremendous amount of emotional energy. There are days when listening, guiding, and holding space for others feels heavier than the physical work itself. This unseen emotional labor of motherhood doesn’t clock out, especially when your work is deeply connected to caring for children and families.

At the same time, families are trusting us with something incredibly important—their children.

One mom shared her concerns about her child’s first day of school. She wanted guidance on how to support her daughter’s social-emotional skills and navigate the drop-off. I spent time with her, offered reassurance, and introduced her to the teacher. She later shared that walking into our school made her feel confident and at home, like she’d finally found the right fit—something she had been searching for when typing montessori preschool near me into Google.

Seeing her daughter warm up and smile reminded me why I was called to this work. Supporting families through transitions, especially their first ones, is tender and meaningful. It’s also deeply tied to the emotional labor of motherhood that so often goes unseen.

Finding Peace When Life Feels Full

Even in this demanding season, I still make time to volunteer at church. Serving there has become a place of peace—a space to slow down, breathe, and remember that I don’t have to carry everything alone, even when losing myself in motherhood feels close to the surface.

And yes, this season is messy in very real ways. So messy that I once showed up to my mom group’s Christmas party two days early on a Tuesday instead of Thursday. We laughed, and in that moment, I felt seen. Life feels full, slightly chaotic, and very human right now.

Making Peace with This Season

I’m learning to rest even when the house isn’t perfect.
To let the mess exist without stealing my peace.
To release control without guilt.
And to trust the process instead of rushing through it.

This season won’t last forever, but it is shaping me—as a mother, a partner, and a woman learning to soften where she once held tightly. The truth is, losing myself in motherhood has also helped me find new depth, clarity, and compassion.

Because confidence in motherhood doesn’t come from having it all together.
It comes from knowing when to let go and trusting that you’re still exactly where you’re meant to be.

Losing Myself in Motherhood: 4 Powerful Lessons